Sometimes I just feel like the biggest loser.
I dress very simply. I don't wear any jewelry. I usually do not wear any make-up, and when I do, it is only a tiny bit. I know nothing about clothes shopping. Usually I am quite satisfied with this. My appearance reflects my values of simplicity and thrift. But every now and then, I start to feel very uncomfortable with how different I look. I am not very pretty and I compare myself to the girls up on campus. They are tidy; my hair, especially after being pulled in and out of coats and scarves, is always in disarray. Their cheeks are rosy; my nose is red! Their clothing is warm and attractive; mine is disheveled and frumpy. They sit quietly, dutifully taking notes; I interrupt and ask questions.
Today, I pulled a desk up beside one of the regular auditorium seats, and the girl there asked if I wanted to sit there (in her spot). Am I that intimidating, that I look like I am trying to take your seat when I am clearly pulling up my own?
I should be accustomed to not fitting in. I never have. But sometimes it is a little bit more difficult than usual.
- Simple Style