Simplify - Make the choice

Your Money or Your Life

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sandykidd1
alalei wrote in simplifylife
Sometimes I just feel like the biggest loser.

I dress very simply. I don't wear any jewelry. I usually do not wear any make-up, and when I do, it is only a tiny bit. I know nothing about clothes shopping. Usually I am quite satisfied with this. My appearance reflects my values of simplicity and thrift. But every now and then, I start to feel very uncomfortable with how different I look. I am not very pretty and I compare myself to the girls up on campus. They are tidy; my hair, especially after being pulled in and out of coats and scarves, is always in disarray. Their cheeks are rosy; my nose is red! Their clothing is warm and attractive; mine is disheveled and frumpy. They sit quietly, dutifully taking notes; I interrupt and ask questions.

Today, I pulled a desk up beside one of the regular auditorium seats, and the girl there asked if I wanted to sit there (in her spot). Am I that intimidating, that I look like I am trying to take your seat when I am clearly pulling up my own?

I should be accustomed to not fitting in. I never have. But sometimes it is a little bit more difficult than usual.

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Your description more or less fits me as well. In fact, I was thinking today about how my mother has always been a bit of a "tom boy" (for lack of a better characterization) - not overly feminine, yet a real natural beauty - she never taught me about shaving, tweezing, makeup, et cetera. Usually I'm not too bothered by it, but today I was thinking that I'd like to try tweezing my eyebrows. I'm too afraid I'll screw it up though. Heh. Oh well.

I feel the same way that you do. I wish I could give you a solution, but I haven't figured one out yet. :/ In the end, I'm still glad I'm me though and not them.

I feel similarly. I especially felt like this in school. It's weird how different we all are from each other. I don't understand how some girls can go through an entire day with not a hair out of place, and they look as good at the end of the day as they do at the beginning. My husband works with a bunch of women who are always very finished-looking, petite, in style, perfectly made-up, etc. When I first met them all, I felt like a bull in a china shop. But, I don't think any of them felt that way about me, even though I'm so different than them in so many ways.

I saw one of those make-over shows about 3 months ago where they took a girl who was the lead singer in a punk band. They took her out of her t-shirt and baggy jeans, and put her into something more figure-flattering. They gave her a short, cute haircut and put make-up on her. My husband thought that the haircut was definitely cuter than her long wild hair, but I really thought she was much more appealing the way she was before she was made over.

I think people often don't understand their own appeal. Janis Joplin was one of those people who had a lot of appeal even though she didn't totally fit the beauty standards of the time. (When she was at UT, some horrible fraternity voted her "the ugliest man on campus."), but I think her sex appeal was very apparent to the masses later on.

Anyway, I'm writing a lot more than I intended to. College is a very artificial environment, so don't worry that you are doomed to these feelings for life.

You know what's funny is that girls like you are intimidating to me... even though I don't feel that different than you at all. For me, it's like you all have the confidence to just do your own thing instead of acting like everyone else. My wish is to have the honesty to be able to be myself.

Maybe you're just a late bloomer.

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